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“will you be sad if it’s not a girl?”

June 9, 2011

Since deciding to be surprised with the gender of our second child, this has been one of the most common questions that I’ve been asked.  Although at times I’m taken aback, I’m not offended by the question in the least.  Underneath this question lies the assumption that all women want a daughter; a little girl to bake with, paint their nails with, and to read Anne of Green Gables with.  And their assumption is right.  Deep in my heart there is a strong desire to pour myself into a little girl in a way that I will never be able to with sons.  However, I must also admit that my desire to have a daughter in no way interferes with my desire to have a second son.   I want both, but in very different ways.

One of the many things that I am thankful for when I think back over our years of infertility is that I don’t take having children for granted.  There was a time when we were told that we might not ever bear children.  Do you know what that does to a person?  To a woman?  In that doctor’s office, you could have handed me twenty-five of the most rowdy, dirty, loud, misbehaved little boys in the world and I would have rejoiced!  Gender didn’t matter to me, having a baby mattered.  I’ll never get over the miracle of having a life growing inside of my once-barren womb.

In all honesty, when I’m asked this question, I’m secretly thinking to myself, “If they only knew how incredibly happy my little boy has made me these past two years…”  It is a breathtaking privilege for me to have a son.  When I look at my Sam, 1 Corinthians 11 comes to minda man is the image and glory of GodOne of the greatest joys and responsibilities in my life is to raise this little boy, this future man, to become the image-bearer God intended him to be.  All the bugs and dirt and swords and adventures and cars and trucks and balls and scrapes and bruises and boisterous laughter all have one thing in common…they are a little boy becoming a man;  they are the glory of God.

Do I want a daughter some day?  Absolutely!  But, no, I will not be sad if our second child isn’t a girl.  How could I be when the alternative is among the most glorious things in the world…

5 Comments leave one →
  1. June 10, 2011 7:17 am

    I’ve always imagined adult self in a big house with a bunch of little boys. (Perhaps because I read either Little Men or Jo’s Boys at an impressionable age!) Now there’s a girl name I’d love to use, so, shallow as it may be, I’d like at least one girl.

  2. Andie permalink
    June 10, 2011 7:24 am

    Amen and amen. It is hard to explain that though you desire a girl, a baby boy is still utterly exciting when they are YOURS. And all the past thoughts of who they might have been are washed away because you know who God wanted you to have.

  3. Jenn A permalink
    June 10, 2011 7:45 am


  4. June 10, 2011 7:47 am

    we got a similar version of that question… are you going to try for a boy? with three girls i got that a lot when the girls were little. sometimes it made me feel as though people thought that what God hadn’t given me wasn’t enough. trust me. i have enough! 🙂 they are beautiful, sweet, fun, interesting, loud, humorous, dramatic, thoughtful girls. and God picked them out for me. so, no, unless the Lord decides adding a boy to my bunch is in His plan, we won’t be trying… that said, our nephew sure is a barrel of fun! 🙂

  5. June 11, 2011 9:21 pm

    how did i MISS this?! i LOVE this post because this is how i feel FOR you. I want you to have another son so badly! and i want you to have a daughter so badly. how sweet that God gave you another child! whether it’s a boy or a girl, i will love your child to the moon and back!

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